Ah, Spring! The Smell of the NFL Is in the Air

THE DRUNKEN LOUDMOUTH!

Ah, spring. Catchers and pitchers report. The NBA shifts into playoff gear, and the soft winter’s glow of the NFL’s past season is soon to be swept from our fireplaces. The NFL, however, has other ways of remaining in our hearts…

Ray Lewis is just smart enough to get away with double murder, or smart enough to just help it along a bit. Lordy, this man is dumber than seaweed. When he talks, it sounds as if he’s still trying to spit out his mouthpiece from his playing days. Instead of putting him in their studios, ESPN should give him his own weekly NFL Criminal Countdown show where he could review the latest arrests, place his fake glasses upon his face, look at the camera and spew the idiotic drivel that his ex-teammates no longer have to listen to, but that we do.

* * *

Speaking of murderers, I…

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